Day 16 - Are we having fun yet?!

Momma’s Turn


I know …. I know….it’s been a while since I’ve update. But, seriously, it’s been a bit of hell around here. Day One was successful with the tv coins, but then it was several days until J had coins left to use. J was insistent on pushing me to almost breaking and making sure that he tested every boundary possible. I’ve stayed firm and consistent (even when I’ve felt broken and wanted to give up!)

Make no mistake about it: There has been an awful lot of Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth (WGT) around here since the tv coins have been implemented! I’m talking fit throwing like you’ve never seen before (If you’ve ever seen ABC’s show “Super Nanny” then you know what I’m talking about. That’s not a joke. I’m talking r-e-a-l-l-y bad! Throwing-screaming- flailing about-“I hate you” bad.)

Overall, I think it’s a good plan and seems to be working. The best part of all is that the constant begging, negotiating, and arguing that used to consume large portions of our day, is starting to dissipate. I just simply make statements or ask questions back. So, if J asks for tv at 9am, I ask “Is it after lunch yet?” If he has lost his coins and asks to watch tv I simply say, “Go check out your jar and tell me if you have coins left for tv.” It takes some of the pressure off of me and puts him in a bit more control and ownership of his own behavior. He starts to see direct connections between the choices he makes and the consequences that occur as a result.

And then of course, there are some behaviors that even losing tv time is not enough, so he’s also been spending a lot of time in time outs. We have a small carpet that he must stay on for 5 minutes (1 minute for each year old). The first few times he was banished to the time out – it was UGLY. (Once again, if you want to see examples of this, tune in to Super Nanny. Auntie and Momma frequently tune in for pointers. We have said several times, “Wow! That’s J!” or even “Ha! That’s nothing! It only took you 20 minutes to get your kid to sit on a time out?! Try over an hour!) Yes, folks, that’s right. It has taken me over an hour to implement a single 5 minute timeout. J likes to get up and run around the house. I “catch” him, and place him back on the time out. He gets up, I catch him….repeat….for up to (or even over) an hour. It is exhausting. It is frustrating. I have lost it and spanked – hard. I have cried. I have yelled. I have spanked again – hard. Am I proud of this? Not really. But I think it’s important to be honest. I know I’m not the only parent out there who struggles, so I’m putting it out there – even when I’m not proud of the mistakes I’ve made. But, I think that he’s finally getting it. He knows I mean business.



**I did have to make some modifications from the original plan. 1) He is not allowed to watch tv until after lunch time. 2) He can use up to three coins after lunch only. 3) He can use up to three coins after dinner. **